Yes! It is truth that Francis Sinatra was prone to sing “Walking in the Winter Wonderland”
– but this was (of course) being pale and laughable capitalist imitation of Great Soviet Seasonal Song as feature in title! Today I am reminisce of glorious Russian original ditty when I am being myself, yes, perambulating in verifiable wintery country of great philosophical ponderings! Allow me to thrust some light upon a subject!
Today I finished toiling at my beloved place of industry at suspiciously early time. Henceforth, I am decided to walking through dense and threatening woods known locally as, “Great Quarry and Mill Park of Noble Workers.” Snow is radiating massive and magnificent shafts of light and I am feeling myself so tempt by nature! On subject of massive and magnificent shafts, I am instantly remind of my huge and unfriendly (yet strangely captivating) bodyguard, Sergei. I calling him on telephone to request his attentions to my safety upon Evil Walk of Hidden Dangers All Around. BUT! He is saying that he is regret he cannot this day safeguard my fragile personage by means of his superior, athletic (yet strangely scarred) body!!! It is most out of usual, but Sergei is not able to be help, as he is attending “The Night Class”
with his occasional prostitute Natasha. They are embarking upon Advanced Macrame For Beginners at The Perth Collegiate and seem to be needing great deals of ropes.
Never the less! I am choose to make hazardous foray by my own. Some of you are saying, I do not doubt fact, that I am being of mind which is not sound! Nothing is further from a verity! As I am trudging along lone some path home to collective farm, I am being greeted in healthy fashion by so many ripe and red-cheeked peasants who are called, I am led to believing, “Zhaykeys,” “Minkes” and “The Scum of Doles.” How I am giggling with cheery nerves as they are snatching my bag in merry proletarian manner! I am remind of philosophy of Marx who was shouting (when he was alive) “All of the property is the theft!” and so I am replenished with guilt for “owning” handbag in the very first place. Indeed, I am determining to read as encore, “Communist Manifesto” along beside my bedtime pitcher of vodka. Purging evil capitalist notions from my head – is some similarity to root canal treatment of frontal lobe! Vodka will ease inevitable pain. Yes! It is aged wisdom!
BUT! In return to walk of winter wonders etc. How I am being touched by plight of miniscule puffed-up feathery birds desperately attempt to find food in unloving environment! I am feeling for them in special way as I have also been in Tesco Queue today for No Bread. How I am being just like tiny, helpless bird in Winter, as I try in the vain to secure essential nourishment from Evil Capitalist Customer Services Fascists! They say they are not even being able (at moment in time) to be offer me the bread of Naan from The Hindustan, much less Glorious Black Bread of Motherland (which is ever guaranteed by manufacturer to be containing authenticated grit from Chelyabinsk….)
YES! I am full of the woe and minus bread and handbag, but making up mind to be feeding spare parts from Sergei’s previous (and late) “business partner” (one Dmitry Killemov, as you are in the know) to poor creatures of unforgiving forest! Charity in Adversity! It is motto of my family and always has been, since Papa erased previous motto from collective consciousness by means of diligent and sustained brutality. Oh Papa! How you are remind me of Sergei in actual fact! Cruel, yet fair! I am fervently hope that Sergei will not be enrol for Extra-Curricular “Activities” with occasional prostitute Natasha, but
only a time will letting us be in the know…..good night, my Bolshoi Boy xxx